Space Bound
by Writtentoberead
Summary: I couldn't sleep, so I wrote. Just a small ficlet inspired by a small part of the song Space Bound by Eminem. Santana takes some time to think.


Santana took in a deep breath through her nose before slowly letting it out. She held still for a moment before taking another drink from the bottle in her hand. It wasn't alcohol as most would suspect from the resident badass cheerleader. Actually, when she was deciding her choice of drink for the evening, her first thought was water. It was probably the better idea because she had driven the 20 minutes to Winona Lake. Now here she was, looking out at the water from the hood of her car, hearing her music playing softly from the stereo.

Finn Hudson was the reason she was out here. The dumbass had outed her to everybody. She had guessed that some people had figured it out and of course some people had noticed from the start. That didn't mean her parents were home or lucid enough to figure it out. They would know now. So would her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Everybody and their fucking mothers. Brittany had begged to come with but Santana didn't want to take out anything on the innocent girl. She just needed her space and she had gotten it with a reluctant nod from her girlfriend and she had to promise to call every hour.

The song just changed as she wiped her eyes that had long been dry but now felt tired. Santana had stumbled upon the song one day after she had gotten mad because Brittany was hanging out with her rolling joke of a boyfriend at the time. In her anger, she had thrown her ipod out the window and had to put up with the radio for two whole days before her dad finally got her a new one. This very song had come on just as she was about to give up. Something about it caught her attention.

Eminem had never been her style. She like old, soulful stuff or something she could dirty dance to. It was these sad, lonely nights when she listened to this song.

_We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much  
>but it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us<br>It's lust, it's torturous, you must, be a sorceress,  
>cause you just, did the impossible, gained my trust<br>don't play games it'll be dangerous if you fuck me over  
>cause if I get burnt, I'ma show you what it's like to hurt<br>cause I've been treated like dirt, before ya, and love is evil,  
>spell it backwards, I'll show ya. <em>

The song made Brittany appear in her mind. Well, it brought specific thoughts about Brittany because honestly, her girlfriend never left her thoughts. She thought about the first few times she realized she liked her friend as more than just that. When she started to notice her heart beating a little quicker and her protectiveness flare up when somebody did anything to hurt her Britt-Britt. The way her breath was taken when she watched the girl dance and the way she couldn't help but smile when she saw the pearly whites of her best friend come out in her signature grin.

Nobody else could evoke these feelings. However, she could never imagine wanting to hurt Brittany. No matter how much she herself was hurt, her girlfriend would be safe. If Santana was honest with herself, she couldn't say all of that truthfully. She knew better than anybody what a loose cannon she can become if she gets riled up enough. Revenge is what she does best, but does that apply when it comes to the only person who was good enough to earn her trust?

And love is evil. She could truthfully say that with experience to prove it. If she didn't love Brittany, she wouldn't be in this mess right now. She loves that girl like nothing else but if she didn't like girls her life would be so much easier. She could've kept sleeping around and maybe she would've gotten head cheerleader and top dog sooner. She could've been number one. Too bad she had to get drunk every time she was with some random guy. She had to be extra careful to keep her mouth shut before the name of her friend came tumbling out without warning.

At least those days were over now. Sure, she had denied her feelings for the longest time but now she accepted them and Brittany had accepted her. The problem was the rest of the world. While many people were supportive, there were so many more that would be against her and her love. She knew she would've had to deal with it all sooner or later but she had just made it official with her girlfriend. She was hoping to take it a little bit slower on that step. What if she does something to fuck it up and Brittany leaves her? She can't imagine Brittany really leaving her to deal with it by herself but what if? It's not like the girl would have trouble finding someone else, she is gorgeous, amazing, and the sunshine in life.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone vibrating in her pocket. She quickly took it out to see she had a text from Brittany. She hadn't expected anyone else because her girlfriend was the only one who would care.

**I love you San! I no ur mad finn bc he did a bad thing but ur still perfect 2 me! Cant wait 4 u 2 get back here ~*Britt*~**

Santana smiled down at her phone. She couldn't help it just like she couldn't help analyzing the text as much as she could. Brittany had spelled out "I love you" and capitalized her name. She knew her girlfriend loved using shortcuts for texting, so much so it ended up in her essays before Santana went through and helped to correct them. It meant a lot to her that the girl would make it a point to do that for her. She knew Brittany was reassuring her that the world wasn't over. There was also a subtle way of asking her to come back home by saying she couldn't wait for her return. How could she deny somebody with a cute signature like her girlfriend any longer?

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><p>A*N – Thanks for reading! I couldn't sleep and wanted to write so this is what came of it. Not much, but I'm an Eminem fan. This is one of my favorite songs and so I wanted to do a Brittana(ish) themed fic with it. If you are following my WIP fic, The Lie Keeps Me Safe, it's still coming along!<p>

The song is Space Bound by Eminem. You can also catch me on Tumblr - writtentoberead - if you have any prompts/questions/comments.


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